Personal Legend

Innocent Victim

2010-12-08T06:58:00.000-08:00

Once you were like conjoined twins... like shadow, you were each other's alter ego... and then there was a bad day. That day when the sun went down it was peaceful, but when it dawned it experienced a different world.. The next day those 'twins' were more like day & night... They were no longer one.. they were no longer together..

This happens... This kinda sh*t happens in life... This happens to human.

Are you asking what happens?

People drift apart.. this is what happens.. The sh*tty part is that they may draw far for no apparent reason. And worse part is the person who suffers is the one who has no clue as to what or why it happened!!!

He is the Innocent Victim!

'Ignorance is Bliss' well let me revise it... 'Ignorance is supposedly Bliss'. I feel this new idiom is any day apt for the world we live in.

Imagine yourself as the 'victim' ; you know nothing that what went wrong! What did you do wrong! Why is it happening!

The victim grills himself in the search for an answer.. for that possible logic which will justify the illogical behavior of his 'friend' ( point to be noted my readers that this 'innocent victim' is nothing but a loyal dog.. who is ready to forgive all that has happened and take his 'friend' back as if nothing ever happened). The other half of the conjoined body 'moved on'. He turned his face away... (why?).. because he found a better 'alternative'... because he found a 'better friend'.. the 'new laughter' is more refreshing to his ears now... All that was 'old' was now behind this person.. it was gone...

But I wanna ask why? Why could you not take your 'past' and make it a part of your 'new' life...

Was that friend a burden on your back?

Do you consider him as a hurdle in your 'transition'?

Was that friend just a stepping stone for you?

Was that friend no more doormat for you, which you used to wipe your past on and step into the new life.. the new glossy life?

At this time I can not help but quote what a great guy once said...

"What goes around, comes back around"

Whom To Cry For?

2010-04-29T06:50:00.000-07:00

You are lying on your bed, curled up in your own arms, weeping silently. The tears drop from your eyes and make your pillow wet. Then you start weeping violently, you bang your fist on the bed. You drown your face in your pillow and cry out “mummmaaaaaa!!!”

Hold it!

This is what I don’t understand. Why do people cry out for their mother or god, may be. Why don’t they cry out “paapaaaaa!!!” instead? The very thought of saying ‘papa’ while sobbing seems grotesque.

Why? Why so?

And what about those who don’t have any relevance of this ‘word’ in their life? Whom would they cry for? Yes words! For a few mother or god are just words. Aren’t their people who are atheist or orphans, or worse they just don’t connect with their family. There are people who don’t share the bond with the two symbols. Whom would they cry for?

We may not admit but this is also a sort of rule. That the first word expected from a baby is ‘maa’ and that’s what he is expected to say when dying in pain.

But for some who care enough to think about small things and gestures like these it’s a big problem. Crying is a very strong and personal emotion. One doesn’t cry in front of everybody and the ones who care don’t use any word to express their grief.

Few might think that this post holds no substance but for a few

Whom To Cry For?

is not an easy question!

If only...

2010-01-27T08:27:00.000-08:00

People tell me not to grow up. They ask me to stay the kid that i am, as it is a wild world out there. i know they have the very best for me but i ask isn't it better to grow up n face the world rather than have to do the same being the kid???

Why do people want to grow up when they are kids?

Why do they wish they'd never wished to grow up?

Why are people so confused?

Why???

We all always try to get to the other side of the grass as it always seems greener. We all act like elders when we are kids and when we grow up we envy the kids around us.

We envy their freedom, we envy their innocence, we envy the simplicity of their lives...

We never seem to really cope up with the sudden thrust of responsibilities. And the tag of 'Adult' does no good either.

If only things would never change...

If only it were easy to make friends...

If only it was trust...

If only no one ever betrayed...

If only... If only...

The other Queer-ious Being

2009-11-01T02:07:00.000-08:00

How should I start with it? With the obvious, I guess…

So the queer-ious (curious) being mentioned above is a Man. And this article is going to be the first of its kind, because it is going to take up an issue that has hardly been debated. And the topic, my dear readers, is that ‘Men, too, aren’t easy to decode’. Most of you will think this to be a joke, but still keep reading and conclude whatever you want at the end of this article.

So if men are so easy to ‘decode’ then the general perception, that men are just about ‘Sex, Sports and Power’ should hold true. But I, apparently, DO NOT agree with it. Men are much much more than this. Though I’m not denying that they do not think about sex or sports, but what I’m trying to emphasis on is that there are other things as well that holds their attention.

Human mind is nothing less than a conundrum. But it’s always the fairer sex that is ‘defined’ as ‘impossible’, but our very own Martian (“men are from mars” remember!!!) isn’t any different. He, too, can be ‘impossible’.

Now allow me to throw some light on this matter and shatter some of the myths that shadow a man’s insight. So to start with, it’s said that all men are a sucker for blondes (the figurative beauty without brains). Then why is it that he searches for brain and a woman who can talk intelligent about cars, bikes and mileage. So men are not just about looks. I recall another incident where an acquaintance told me that he is not really excited by ‘bikini clad models’ for they are nothing but a “bare canvas” to him. So men aren’t all about looks. No wonder ‘Intelligence’ is amongst the most common turn-ons. And I happen to a few guys who’ve fallen just for the voice or thoughts without having a glimpse of that gal.

Now, a guy would frown upon the very idea of letting his chic-friend go out on a blind date. He’ll declare the other chap to be a con without even knowing his name, for that matter. But the very next moment he, himself, will set you out on a blind date. And if somebody is even looking in the direction of their sister they are more than ready to squash him, and afterwards they’ll wonder if anything is wrong with their sister because no guy seems interested in her. Isn’t this PARADOXICAL. And why is it that it’s always the woman who’s ‘linked’ with jealousy and insecurity? Men, too, feel threatened the same way but will never admit the fact, out of the fear that it may destroy their Macho image…

Men… they’ll think in one way, they’ll act in the other way and they’ll portray themselves in another way.

Phew!!!

And even with so many complexities and contradictions they easily claim to be ‘really easy to understand’.

Boy o boy! You men ARE impossible!!!

No kidding !!!

2009-11-01T01:02:00.000-07:00

Now if you have to explain it to a child that how was he born what would you say?

Something like- “mommy and daddy were in love and god gave you as a gift of that love.”

And isn’t it right that kids are made out of love, out of the act of making love, i.e.

So why ‘tag’ these gifts of love as ‘legitimate’ or ‘illegitimate’.

Since when legal formalities (namely, Father’s name) were considered more important than LOVE.

This is LOVE tat we are talking about, here. An emotion which one cannot express but only feel and show. And making out is one of a way to show and express love.

Why does a child need to ‘legalize’ his being? Why does a child need a Father’s name to prove his being? The kid is there in the world and was born exactly as you and I were born. Rather his’ creation, in my view, was more pure. The two people involved in his’ creation were just expressing their love to each other. They had NO PRESSURE on them. No pressure of reproducing because of any family pressure for an heir or biological clocks, or any other reason for that matter.

The ‘illegitimate’ child (though I HATE using the word but I have to) is born out of Love, just LOVE.

The man and the woman involved are in love with each other and are not afraid of confessing their love to each other. It is their mutual emotions and an urge that they share that leads to the act of love making.

So a ‘legitimate’ child might have been a BY- PRODUCT of a rightly and timely Fuck; but the ‘illegitimate’ child is nothing but the LOVE CHLD.

(a)VOID

2009-06-22T06:26:00.000-07:00

Its dangerous for a gal like me to be left alone with her thoughts; for I afraid my thoughts. I’m afraid of what I might just discover about myself.
So I’d rather escape this dreadful state and take a refuge in books or internet surfing or writing or music or anything to divert my self. But then the kind of books I read and a few songs that I ‘relate’ to, again, push me towards that void. And that void is a horrible state to be in. its like purgatory where you’re nowhere near any haven. Everything that I have holds no meaning; all that I’m lacking comes to me…
I’m afraid of what I might recall; something about me, my past, my friends… be it anything they always sap my energy and my spirit. All those things, that I’ve taught myself to live without, suddenly surface. You feel weak and vulnerable and, sometimes even, worthless. As if something is dragging you towards that gloomy and appalling corner; and haunting you for something that you have no idea about. I can’t really explain what it exactly feels like.
All I know is that I fear my own thoughts and I fear this Void...

(I’ve tried explaining it but I couldn’t. You’ll only understand it if you go through it… and I don’t want that for anybody. And if you’ve already been through it, then just know that you aren’t alone)

this hapens only in India

2009-06-22T06:24:00.000-07:00

I sometimes wish that I was born somewhere out of India. Not because I don’t love my country but precisely because I love it. Yes! I want to go away from my country because I love it; rather I should say that I want to love it. I mean I do love my country but I don’t think I love it as much as it, rightly, deserves to be.
Let me put it this way- I saw this show about a traveler’s journey through India. And the way that traveler described the simple things here made me feel like a total stranger in my ‘own’ country. ‘My Own’ of which I know so little. Suddenly my home felt more like a house. And this transition was anything but pleasant.

Its like when you are a stranger in a land everything is so new to you. Even those petty things which are we are used to back at home seem new. You want to explore everything you can. You wanna see it all, feel it all, experience it all, taste it all and imbibe it all, if you can. You don’t want to change it, you accept it as it is and appreciate it for what it is.

But when it’s ‘your’ place then you take things for granted. Like “this is how it always has been. So what’s the buzz about it?” But then I’ve seen tourists go “ooh!” and “aah!” with amazement looking at the number of people sitting (actually mostly standing) in a bus. And some have also asked the question that “How the h*** did they all fit in?”
But we did- SOMEHOW.
Now this would be of No interest to a native Indian because this is something we all are accustomed to this. So there is no point in being excited over the ‘mathematically challenging’ number of passengers.
Similarly, the texture our metropolitan cities have is no less than a conundrum for these people.
Skyscrapers and slums co-exist,
Chopsticks and papad co-exist,
Growing GCD and illiteracy co-exist.
And this is nothing but a miracle for that stranger, but NOT for us, because this is the way it’s always been so in al possibility this is the way for it.

Most of us head for some or the other hill station to beat the heat. And every time we see the mountains we go ‘Whoa!’
So why doesn’t the fact that Hindus alone have some 33 crore gods and goddesses has the same ‘Whoa!’ effect?
Our country deserves and needs that much-awaited attention from its COUNTRYMEN, as well.

So if I can give my land that attention it deserves then I don’t mind having to stay away from it. Only to come back with an eye of an explorer!

i am so sick of love songs, but why can't i turn off the radio???

2009-06-06T01:47:00.001-07:00

It was a boring day so like any other youngster I decided to ‘invest’ my time in a not so constructive activity, rather than ‘wasting’ my time in any thing constructive.
So the CD player was staring at me with his ‘button-like eyes; he was pleading me to play something on it. So I decided to consider his plea, and was searching for something familiar among all those CDs. After wasting my ‘precious’ 15 minutes from my idle time I finally picked up a CD and played it. The first song was some lame remix, which I somehow tolerated. Then the next few songs were ‘the sad songs’ ranging from ‘Quit playing games with my heart’ to some sad songs from some Imraan Hashmi flick and something just clicked…
Why is it that all of us easily ‘identify’ with these sad songs? Everything that has to do with break-ups or related to it easily finds a soft corner or rather hits the soft corner already there.
Okay, we all sulk for everything and everyone we’ve lost- fair enough! But then why don’t the songs with all those happy and up-lifting lyrics have the same long-lasting effect? It’s as if the sad songs are like Rexona; with the whole ‘long-lasting’ effect.

You must have noticed a similar trait in all married women, that whenever they are at a wedding they’ll start crying when the Doli goes- flash back or whenever there is a song from the family of “Babul ki duaayein…” or something similar. All you need to do is mention the topic and nostalgia takes over them and tears start rolling down their cheeks. Why can’t they be happy for the ‘new bride’? Why is it that the first thing they recall here is the ‘separation’ from their family? Yaar honeymoon was also the part of the deal, so why doesn’t that click with them???
And don’t we ‘connect’ with those people who all happen to share the same ‘sad story’ as ours!

So my readers, the question that I’m raising here is WHY?
Don’t tell me that you were hoping for an answer to this question
FYI readers! This post was certainly not meant to define the root cause of this highly subjective issue
( Holy cow! That sound like a legal and official sort of declaration. Whatever, I like it. Lol)

I don’t know the answer. If I knew it then I would have revolved the whole post around it.

Please do share your opinion along with the Kudos!!!

My Angel !

2009-05-07T05:39:00.000-07:00

‘Angel’ is, generally, somebody thought to be dressed in white with a halo and wings. Looking all angelic (what else?) but things and age-old beliefs are getting improvised [just a euphemistic way if saying wilder, wackier and freakier]. Hey! It’s the 21st century what the hell do you expect!

So moving on the same lines ‘my angel’ arrived here on 29th. He came dressed in a shirt, a GAS’ denims, PUMA’s belt, Ray Ban’s shades and Tommy’s slippers [well, they were fake]. Oh! Though the shirt was white & not to mention ‘wrinkle free’ [the perfect blend of Tradition and Modernization na] and he came down to Delhi just to see me [this part is to make me feel good, I know he won’t mind].
He came had some water, cribbed about the weather, lit a cigarette and was all set to pay his attention to me [just what I wanted]. I always wanted to spend a day, just one day, where someone would care for me; without me asking to do so. The hour or two I spent with him were more or less the same.

He hugged me like his pillow.
He listened to all that I had to say. Things were popping in my head and I was saying exactly the same without thinking even once, without worrying about what he might think. He listened to my non-stop chatter with the…
Zest of a 5-year-old,
Curiosity of a new intern,
Amazement of a virgin,
And patience of a salesman.

I made fun of him, but he still loved me.
I taunted him, but he still loved me.
I kicked his butt, but he still loved me…
He kissed my forehead and went back to where he came from.

This angel had no wings, no halo; but his smile made up for all that...

Parting Is Such A Sweet Sorrow

2009-05-07T05:38:00.001-07:00

Now this has nothing to do with oxymoron. It simply has to do with ‘Parting’ [not partying], the ‘Sorrow’ that is ‘Sweet’.
First a little introduction, so the idea isn’t completely mine, its Prasoon aka Ashu’s brainchild. But the credit is all mine because I am writing it
.
Let’s cut the crap, it’s just that I too have felt this ‘sweet sorrow’. Like many others I too have been up, close and personal with this particular emotion.
Be it regarding our friends or our loves, all of us have felt this intense pinch within ourselves every time we were made to let go off something that meant the world to us.
Be it your favorite toy, your old ragged pair of denims or your favorite adda… It may be the most practical & rational thing to do, but all the reasons given to justify the loss seem totally impractical, irrational, wrong, baseless and eerie. But then you had to let go off that thing, no matter how hard you protest but sometimes you just have to surrender. And now when you look back you miss those things and all you do is smile thinking of those moments, those happy moments.
Isn’t it strange that when you are forced to leave a part of your life you feel overwhelmed by grief, but when you look back all you remember is the delight that you’ve shared. If you ever come across your ex after a long time why do you feel awkward? Isn’t it because of what you two shared once, can’t you see that his/her eyes still reflect that [it may not be that intense but it still says something]. And that feeling is beautiful.

Now the flip side, all those friends [read false friends], whom you parted ways with, who bitched behind your back. All those who back stabbed you and went for the guy/gal you’ve been meaning to ask out for quite sometime. And that ‘love of life’ that turned out to be nothing more than a gold-digger.
So why am I making you recall all these instances, you’d ask!
I know you cribbed and cried like hell at first, so did I, we all do so… but then you soon realize that whatever happened, happened for good. You are better off without those ‘friends’ and if you’d notice then you’ll find all those who really care for you.

And now try and imagine this- a picture perfect life. Those who’ve never faced any hardships in their entire life. They have the same group of friends since their first day at the playground. And have been dating the same guy who they’d fancied since the same day at the playground- sounds a Fairy tale?? Simple, sober, sweet… just fell short of describing the Bright side of it. Because for me it is rather dull, slow, monotonous, too safe, unadventurous, boring, lacking fun and color…
I mean just recall the silliest thing you’ve done, like going out on a date with the ‘Bad boy’ of the area or the ’Blonde’ and then how your friends rescued you from the ‘Lets talk about me’ date. These are the decisions generally taken either on impulse or when you are high on adrenalin. Whereas, these people never got a chance to go wild or silly, they never came across any new or interesting character, and above that these people could never know what fun is it in dressing up (or down) for a date [lol]

So a risk-free life doesn’t really spells out the recipe for a good life. So enjoy your break up’s, get all the sympathy you want (lol). So don’t feel bad, it’s just a part of the game. Just to make you a lil more mature and sensible. And if even this doesn’t pacifies you then just merry in the fact that a lot of people feel the same way and its time to move on [this part is NOT sponsored by Fast track]

Even Without Travelling, I Know I Love To Travel

2009-05-07T05:35:00.000-07:00

cTraveling generally refer to visiting new places, learning about new cultures, experiencing new cuisines, enjoying a new sunset at every place you travel to and (most importantly) shell out those moolah- Shopping.
And FYI! I do all these things! So what’s the big deal right? Well, I do all this without stepping a single foot out of the boundaries of Delhi. Oh yeah! I can do that, so can you. Lemme tell you how…

So what makes a place new? Something is new when you haven’t seen, heard, or felt that before. And the same place can also feel new without changing it. I can prove that- now tell me why does those restaurant, you visit every weekend, ‘feels new’ when you are on a date in there? Why?
Why and how can an old cozy place make you nervous when you are on a date? Why?
[I know the fact must’ve dawned on you just now. I am just too good]
The answer is simple; you know it- because you are on a date. I mean you are with someone ‘new’ and the presence of that someone ‘new’ makes the whole ambience look, feel and seem ‘new’!
Hence Proved!!!

So when I say that I too travel what I actually wanna say is that I too get to see the new places (as proved).
I get to learn about new cultures too- be it from my friends, Internet, books. So whenever you try to explain something particular you always have that scene in rolling in your mind and you try to create a life-like image in front of your listeners. Similarly, when you are reading something your mind is constantly on the move, it tries to picture every word that you read. Whenever you read any description your mind tries to bring those words to life. So you again get to see the new place and learn a lot.
Experience new uisine- would you go all the way to Italy to have a slice of pizza, not unless you are a billionaire. Above all that when you’ve got the best chefs at your respective places, the mummy. All you need is her and a cookbook. Else analyze your social circle and you’ll find people from different backgrounds who can offer you the ‘authentic’ meal – it’ll bring joy to both of you.
Now the shopping- I don’t think I need to explain this.
And now the sunsets- well, the sunsets feels different according to your company. Its holds a different meaning when you are alone and is completely different when you are held by someone. It looks happy the day you heard ‘Yes’ from your love and looks sad when you broke up...
See you don’t really have to travel to see, hear, learn and feel new things. Just be a little more observant to the small things around you and you’ll know what I’ve been trying to say all this while.

So I am a traveler and so are you…

Size doesn't matter

2009-03-08T00:21:00.000-08:00

The recession is here to stay, I guess. And it has hit our stock market, the prices in the economy and Love. Well, yes love is also affected by the ‘mandi’ but it has not hit the bottom as our sensex. Its only the relationships that were based on the foundation of Diamonds, champagne and cruise [sigh!] are being subjected to the ‘mandi’.
But these are not the things that make a relationship strong, no matter how badly you wished so [but you all the truth]. For me, and for a lot like me, its something else that matters- a touch, a loving and caring touch. Despite of carrying the tag of ‘the money-minded generation’, almost, all of us would trade the aforementioned indulgences for that one touch without having to give it a second thought.

And now this might sound funny but all those ‘sissy’ things your mum does for your dad are actually ways of showing her love and an attempt to keep him happy. The secret behind their long relationship is the age-old formula of ‘bunty ke papa, sunte ho’ and ‘bunty ki maa, sunti ho’.

Gestures matter in love. FYI! They always did.
Nowadays, the art of wooing one’s love is now being transformed into a competition. But all this is merely on the surface, because deep down inside we all want to be cared in the simple way and we al want to be loved, just loved.

And now based on an EXTENSIVE survey, which included 3 men and 4 women, I present you a list of few gestures that we all would appreciate-
Well, the priority lust of women does not, necessarily, includes a honeymoon in Paris or credit cards of all the possible banks on the face of Earth, or a Pent house [open to reconsideration].
Even the most successful and independent woman wants to have a small world of her own, with her own.
# Shoe doesn’t linger for a Mercedes, but would rather prefer a flower wrapped in few nice words.
# Call her up from work just to say, “I love you” and hang up…
# Hold her hand and squeeze it gently, while gazing into her eyes.
# Open the door for her, pull a chair for her, make her bed tea and paint her nails sometimes.
# Swing your arms around her to tell everyone that the seat is taken, its okay to express your insecurity gals love the feeling of belonging to a man.
# Be there whenever she needs you and assure that every thing is gonna be alright [and if you can get Akshay Kumar to sing that for her, nothing like it]
# Wake her up in the middle if the night and sing to her- no matter how bad you are remember you are her Sonu Nigam or Eminem.
# Sympathies her whenever there is a twist in the age-old daily soap of her choice, like when the 4th or 5th husband of the ‘pyaari bahu’ dies and her childhood love is also slipping away. She needs a shoulder to cry on, so be ready with a lot of tissues, a disprin and a pair if ear plugs.
# Take a lil pain and write ‘Love Notes’ for her. [All those who do NOT know how to write ‘em just lemme know and I’d love to play the part of the naughty Cupid in your love life- Yikes! Did I just write ‘naughty’? I guess I did. Well, I meant sweet, caring, loving and… whatsoever].

Phew! Enough of the insight in a woman’s head. Can’t tell you everything because we want men to come up with innovative ideas to sweep us off our feet [add this one on the list as well]
Now lets pry into the brains of the sweet cowboys [how oxymoronic!]
Well, men were not really ready to publicly admit that they too want to be pampered. But times have changed and today’s metro sexual man is more then willing to share his emotions.
Now, guys want that their lady love should try not to come in between him and his first love- its his Car in ‘most’ of the cases.
And ladies your man would love to be pampered- so go ahead oil his hair without him begging you to do so.
# Drive him to a corner and steal a kiss.
# Call him up and ask him out on an ‘Official Date’, irrespective of the number of years you’ve been together.
# Pay him a surprise visit in the office. [CAUTION- do not overdo this one unless you are stalking him or something]
# When in public just steal a moment and wink at him or blow him a kiss, then see him turning pink.
# Try to get along with his ‘mummy ji’
# Sit with him through pout the ball game [you don’t understand a thing??? BIG DEAL]
# Even if you were champion of the colony-level snooker, let him teach you his moves, PUN intended!
# Have his coat ready at the gate and don’t let him go out unless he pays the tax [I mean a KISS].
# Tie his hands at his back and serve him with your hands, I meant the food
# And let him cry if he wants to, and mother him whenever he does so…

So it necessarily not be big gifts or heavy words to express one’s love. Small things matter! Right from ‘bunty ke papa’ to ‘taxing’, they matter the most.
So size doesn’t matters1

P.S.- We still love to be showered by gifts, just let the recession pass.

Garden of Gloom

2009-03-08T00:18:00.000-08:00

Life goes on smoothly, so it seems. On the facade it all so seems smooth and clear. But as you go deep inside the darkness falls upon you. It tries to engulf you and tries to scare you away. Have you ever wondered ‘Why’? Ever wondered what is the reason behind the darkness’ behavior? It wants to scare you off, because it is itself scared of something… Something that might change the darkness into pristine light, and darkness fears that this change might be transitory. Something that neither I can nor I want to put in tangible figure.

But once you (somehow) gather the necessary courage and take a plunge in this darkness. You’ll find yourself one with it. The darkness doesn’t engulf you; it just covers you in order to protect you. . You, too, become the darkness. And you’ll find a garden with a crystal swan in the middle of this darkness. The eternal beauty of this swan can be admired even in the company of radiance. But her gloom can be seen only if it is enclosed in absolute darkness. Because the darkness is absolute, it allows no shadows and nothing to divert your sanity. So all you can do is ponder on the swan and, sooner or later, you’ll see her tears. Darkness shows you the pain, the grief, the gloom…
The darkness welcomes you wholeheartedly, welcomes you to its’ Garden Of Gloom.

2009-03-08T00:16:00.000-08:00

I have so much to say,
So much to write.
This might sound make me sound bright
But the truth is nor that simple,
Nor that white.

I, too, have my questions,
I, too, have my doubts.
But people expect me to know it all,
And keep on asking me “what is it all about?”

Why? When? What?
I don’t know,
I don’t know,
I don’t know

I have so little to say,
So little to write…

P.S.- suggest a title

Mere do-do baap!

2009-02-23T20:42:00.000-08:00

Yeah! I know what I’m saying, but you all taking me all-wrong. No need to raise an
eyebrow on my mum’s charitra, her charitra is as pavitra as Aquafina [Ram ki Ganga to kab ki apavitra ho gyi]. Now lets not get carried away. So! Lets come back to my two fathers. My two fathers from my two families… and since it is raising even more eyebrows I’ll tell you what exactly I mean. For understanding my funda of two families you’ll have to catch a glimpse of my past and witness the evolution of the theory- FLASHBACK!

I have a family- a mother, a father, a brother, grandparents, uncles, aunts, my cousins etc. etc. I inherited all these relationships from the very first day I landed up on this planet. Rather, these relationships have always been there, ready to be imposed upon the kid. But then as you grow up you start questioning these relationships. There always are certain ‘relatives’ whom you’d rather dump in a no man’s land or, at least, secretly hope that you had no affinity with them, or something in your family’s history that you just can’t relate your self to. Sigh! Unfortunately, we can’t do anything about it.
[Kahaani mein twist]
We can (always) do ‘something’ about them. ‘Something’ like what I did. I set out on an adventure to make my own family. Oh yeah! My very own, personal and tailor-made Family. The (other) family may or may not include members of your inherited family. If you want then your friends, your love, your thoughts, your experiences all of them can find a place in this family of yours. A loving family, for me, is the unspoken dream. It should be every child’s birthright and no one should be devoid of this right. Because having an ‘inherited family’ is not always the same as a ‘loving family’.

There is a big difference a Father and a Dad. Am lucky enough to have them both, though not in the same individual, but at least I have tem. A kid always looks up to his/her Dad [and not Father]. He is somebody for whom we’ll wait late in the night just to have dinner with him and have his arms around - you embracing you, protecting you and comforting you. His bedtime stories are way more fascinating then any other tale, because he is our Hero. Whenever you’re in deep shit his’ is the picture that’ll flash in front of your eyes. He’s somebody you’d worship- he is our Guardian Angel.
Though I have never experienced all this but I have made a mould on what I’ve heard and then He came into my life and he fits so perfectly in that mould that I couldn’t help but see a ‘Dad’ in him. And he too treats me as his kid. For him I’ll always be ‘the kid’. I doubt how many can boast if such a bond. So I am proud of the fact ke ‘mere do-do baap!’

Who can write???

2009-02-18T02:36:00.000-08:00

“ I don’t think its good enough to be published”. “ How are you so sure? You should at least try it once”. I know it! It is not of that standard and I can’t write that good ”. “There are no set standards that can define good writing skills. “
Well, this is a small part of a big argument, I had with my friend Saurabh, over ‘Who Can Write?’. And suddenly he suggested that I should write about ‘Who Can Write?’ [I’m still not sure of what am I doing]. I thought that the chances of World being overtaken by aliens were quite higher than my article getting published [well, I’m one helluva a pessimist]. But, on second thoughts there is no harm in trying. Chetan Bhagat got it right with his first book. He is a critically acclaimed and a loved writer, not many writers can claim that. He writes for the masses. The aam janta connects with his style of narrating [may be that’s why people choose him for sending their suicidal letter.]

Saurabh says, “ Whats the fun if the work of an intellect is understood by another only”. I say this is injurious to the health of all those thinking minds out there. So all of you go grab a pen and paper, and start scribbling down any damn thing. Who knows, you might be the next Chetan Bhagat [such a positive attitude, not bad for a pessimist]

I am...

2009-02-18T00:23:00.000-08:00

Who am I? What am I?

I am what I am,

And you won't like me, if I was not myself

I don't imitate others,

I make my own blundeers!

I don't care about you,

And may be that's why you want me too...

I am what I am,

And I will be what I am.

Right To Jealousy

2009-02-18T00:20:00.000-08:00

Our constitution has endowed us with certain Fundamental Rights-
Right of Freedom
Right of Equality
Right Against Exploitation
Right To Freedom of Religion
Cultural and Educational Rights
Right To Constitutional Remedies

Apart from these one more right should be added i.e. ‘Right To Jealousy’. Jealousy is always seen as a virtue of women ONLY. It interprets, that we want something better – you know yourself and crave for something better and… its true. But that’s not the whole story. So allow me to throw some light on the, much maligned, Subject.

Women are, generally, associated with jealousy &… Why Not! It’s a privilege to feel that way and not every woman gets to feel that way. It denotes that you’ve got something very eminent and very treasured, that you’d rather not share it with anybody else. Something so dear and so valuable that you want to keep it to yourself. And you wouldn’t even mind being tagged as ‘Selfish’ in the pursuit of this happiness. Because you believe that other might not understand the real capability of it, others might underestimate it [which may prove to be demoralizing]. This kinda jealousy comes with a drop or 2 [may be a lil more] of Possessiveness.

At least I am one of those few people who exploit this right of mine till it’s possible extent, and obviously to MY advantage. I’m possessive for my friends and I can’t, even, stand hearing about anybody else’s name from them. Whenever their lips depart all I wanna hear is my name. I have never restricted them of socializing or dating or even hooks ups. But I just don’t want to know about these things – DON’T TELL ME!!!

I know none of my friends have ever been able to understand this statement of mine. They think I’m jealous because I’m (shayad) liking them or am crushing on them, though the answer is NO (HELL NO!).
Its just that, deep down inside, I fear… that I’ll loose them, that they’ll leave me all alone, that they’ll then just be a memory of my History [things that I wanna keep with me in my present till the future].
Maybe I am overreacting but that’s the way I am, that’s the imperfect way I am. And I fear that they’ll find someone perfect, and then I’ll just be an image in their head of ‘some talkative gal’
And I fear that…

Hey Beautiful!

2009-02-09T02:40:00.000-08:00

What is the most common alias that girls use to address their girl friends with? Perhaps babes, sweety or something like that right! Why never beautiful??? [Never thought of this before]. May be, because, every girl can’t be tagged as beautiful. Than the question arise WHO IS BEAUTIFUL? ….. Blue eyes, fair skin, pink lips, blonde hair and a ten on ten figure. So someone with the above mentioned ‘attributes’ will surely qualify your definition of ‘Beautiful’. Well, to tell you the truth I feel sorry for you… Yes I am, because definition of Beauty is really narrow and is highly influenced by what you have been witnessing on that idiot box.

How one may describe ‘Beauty’? It varies from brain to brain. You may think deserts to be harsh and ruthless, but I find them calm and BEAUTIFUL. You might find alligators and snakes to be creepy, hideous and dangerous but I, again, find them to be fascinating and extremely BEAUTIFUL creatures.

According to the OXFORD ENGLISH DICTIONARY, beauty is “a combination of qualities that delights the aesthetic senses.” So the question that now arises is, what are ‘those qualities’? We all have different parameters to define beauty. Some think Aishwarya Rai Bachchan to be the most beautiful woman on the Earth, but for some [like me] its Sushmita Sen. A Beautiful woman is someone who can mesmerize you by her wit and charm. She may be fair, dusky or dark for that matter. The color of her skin or her eyes will certainly bring no difference in her magic.

So, who is Beautiful? The question still stands unanswered [and might always will]. But, for me anybody who is near to my heart ought to be BEAUTIFUL. After all beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. So the next time you meet your girl friends don’t forget to say, “Hey Beautiful!”

Ashes in the air..

2009-02-05T02:36:00.000-08:00

I wanna fly like ashes in the air,
just like 'em with no care.
Hoping to reach somewhere...
a place far from here,
a place with no tears.
A land full of wonders,
a land full of hopes..
I wanna fly like ashes in the air,
hoping to reach somewhere.....

Oops! I did it again...

2009-02-05T02:32:00.000-08:00

No! I’m not going to talk about Britney Spears. I’ll, rather, be talking about the most feared thing. Something that possesses the power to break us into million pieces [figuratively only!]. and that something is Expectations. Expectation is a weird emotion. It’ll confuse you. Whether to expect or not to expect and, if you do, then whether to keep any expectation from these expectations or Not?! All this may seem harmless at first, like a kid expecting some kinda reward for outperforming in some event, but once they’ve embedded in our heads- they can destroy us…

Whether to expect or not to expect is NOT in our hands. Being humans we tend to keep expectations from the people around us, our jobs, our investments, our lives and ourselves. And any of these, if not fulfilled, will lead to deep resentment and a feeling of guilt [for expecting in the first place]. I, personally, live by Golden Rule, i.e, ‘never to expect anything (good) from anyone and always to expect everything (bad) from anyone’ I accepted this rule to keep tight reins on my dependence and expectations of others. But I always end up breaking this rule, again & again I do the same, knowingly on unknowingly; which hurts, off course!

But now I’ve had enough! I will not allow anybody to hurt me anymore. I, now, will never expect. I’ll take life by its horns.

SO let us all now promise ourselves NOT TO EXPECT EVER… I can only expect that you all will accept this Golden Rule. Guys, I’m keeping my expectations on you all !!!
Oops! Even I did it again…

Live and let ‘Life’ live

2009-02-02T00:55:00.000-08:00

"Life is so strange”, you’ll hear every other person saying this. But why? Why is life so strange? Just because we don’t know what is going to happen and this little trivia makes all this strange… Now, when do we say something to be ‘strange’? I guess, when it is ‘not a common phenomenon’ or if it’s a little ‘hatke’ [no other word seemed such a perfect fit- ah! Hindi is so mahaan]. By the way since when did we knew what the future holds for us! So if this has always been the trend then you tell me that what is strange out here, except my Hindi!
Life is living the way it lives. Yes! Life lives like any other living creature. Now just think about the poor life, think how monotonous it would be for her [life] to come unexpected to us every year, every month, every week, every day, every hour, every minute, every second… gosh! Imagine if you had to live such a monotonous life, what would be your reaction. None of us wants a life so mechanical and predictable, we all need something ‘hatke’ in our lives. Point to be noted my lord [read my dear readers- please like me], the contrast between two different lifestyles and human’s unlimited wants- when life comes easy on them its monotonous and when life has a twist its strange. What is this? It’s just us who are acting strange and not Ms. Life.
So my message for her would be “ whatever we humans say take it with a pinch of salt, move on and stay bindaas!” [I so love Hindi]

P.S. – I have portrayed life as a female but you can change as per your own needs and make it Mr. Life. But I don’t think He’ll be able to bring so much of twist and hungaama in our lives as much as She can…